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Daniel Arnold

[ website | The Story of Who I Am ]
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sit [02 Feb 2004|04:44pm]
I close my eyes, open and stare at blank reality. The reality that I'm staring at a screen. The reality that I spend excessive time worrying about la computadora. I'm plastered to the screen-- my face part of the fixture. And what goes on in that cyberworld-- cybernetic, hyperspeed ministry if you want to call it, absorbs me. I want to pull away, but it's like I can't. It feels like I'm obligated.

I've loved it, but it destroys me. My livejournal is a chronicle of my life, but I feel partially digitally constructed-- like Darth Vader. My words are as simple as the screen allows. I do not get a quality education; I get by-- preparing for life-long ministry in all the wrong way. So I thought I was doing good-- then reality set in.

I may be depressed right now, call it clinical, but I have reason to be. I'm regulated by electronics. I should try to just be silent and listen to the Lord perhaps. Right Jesus, sounds like a move to me.

I talk, talk, talk, with a zeal seen by the naked eye. The biggest chocolate Easter bunny with chocolate as thin as paper. God knows if I'm solid with the test of time and my work will show through good or bad. But I feel wretched at this computer. And the truth is...

"If your left eye causes you to sin, pluck it out-- lest your whole body be thrown into hell."

I'm so miserable so often that I just about want to take this computer and throw it out the window. But alas, I have to worry about what e-mail might be sent to the yahoo account. And could I ever destroy my livejournal record of my life? No Way.... but at the same time I don't know how to make sure I don't access it.
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Hi [02 Feb 2004|10:53am]

(not my picture)

Precious Lord, there's no time in the day-- to live according to my plans. I'm a man of no structure with much to accomplish and simply PRAISING You gets pushed aside. Let that not be so. Let me throw everything aside and Seek Your Face. Seek Your will. Turn my eyes upon You!For You are glorious!
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[01 Feb 2004|04:24pm]
I am sad.
11 comments|post comment

[31 Jan 2004|11:38pm]
By every meaning,

"Do not be overcome by evil," but overcome evil with good-- no more second-guessing, ever-learning, always hoping, always perservering.

You are Lord and You are love. "Perfect love casts out all." You are within me. "Now the Lord is the Spirit and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom!"

I'm talking fanfare. Not freedom from your pains. Not freedom from your sorrows. But freedom to L I V E (Loving In View of eternal)--- apart from E V I L ("eery" villain in life).

No satan is not evil. he is powerless and will be cast into the pit of hell with his followers.

BUT JESUS COMES IN TO SAVE THE DAY-- by seizing the day and L I V E ing by giving His life. Hallelujah!

When I don't know what to say, When I'm afraid of what to say, I ask of God and He answers. I'm not perfect, BUT Hallelujah, this tiny seed is growing,

and He's smiling like the care of a little 8 year who takes his styrofoam cup filled with soil and deposits a tiny seed to let a plant blossom and groom and grow. That little seed is so precious to Him, He's tending it everyday and providing water and nutrients and sunshine, whatever the little plant needs day by day. The roots must grow and stretch to reach the water below-- oh how it hurts the plant and the transitioning to a larger box!

But oh how it's required! And every moment of L I V E ing should be cherished just as much as that for moment when the Lord's seed began to grow.

Alex, I hope you are reading this because today God used you as a vessel carrying water to nourish my soul.

Thank you both!

~Thanks Al.

Thanks Jesus!
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Owww.... [31 Jan 2004|07:10pm]
Me back... Work day has been a wonderful day. Every moment I cherish being in the peace of the Lord after making a decision I was confused about. We cut the line, now I just trust in Him. Pray for the spiritual warfare that will ensue. Pray for me as my family finds out I turned down internship (I announced it to my advisor via e-mail.).

Pray for my trust and growth and that I don't let down my guard. I'm tired.
5 comments|post comment

I need your prayer. [29 Jan 2004|07:29pm]
I'm going to be silent for a food and talking fast because I need to hear from God about my future. Time is running out, I need clear vision instead of letting myself be confused in every which way, and I can't string along multiple people on a possible commitment.

Here's my options I have laid out for next fall that I would have to decide on pretty quick:

1. Teen Mania Honors Academy

2. Missions School to become whatever God wants

3. Planning on pursuing Teacher Education Internship for the fall for Michigan TE Certification

I'm in financial straights and I have family pressure to take option three. Many people including myself question why I would choose option 1 when it costs $6,000 (plus my $6,000 worth of medical bills) and is not accredited. (I felt called to do it directly twice and I questioned it.) Missions school is my ultimate aim because I feel called into whatever life-long ministry God desires anything from teaching to Christian writing to anything. I have little desire to do TE internship and ever teach in the states. Yet, the MSU College of Ed. program is rated almost number one in elementary education. So a degree there and certification through them would mean a lot. I had it pretty much ruled out then my advisor told me I would probably be placed in an internship spot, but I just would be closely monitored. I thought I was miles away.

So here I am and the doors are open. I don't know my direction. I would most desire to do Teen Mania to build Godly discipline that I lack, grow in Christ, and be prepared for the future, but I feel weird for sure about going out asking for sponsorship from people like you are supposed to when I'm not a teen (though people in their late 20s go.)

Missions school looks great, but I know I am not spiritually mature enough yet. I don't want to waste my time and theirs by breezing through theology, practical ministry training, etc. and then join a team unprepared.

College of Education Internship. I don't know I hate you, but I know my family wants me to go into your program so that I can get a nice teaching job with medical insurance benefits. I know the Lord's vision for me is not limited by that, but I can't rule out what He wants from me right now.

So brothers and sisters, pray for me and if you have a verse or message or prayer that God sent you to send my way, send it along. If any of you wish to fast on my behalf I could surely use it. This is an important time. I may receive a phone call from a Teen Mania Mobilizer as early as Sunday, I just had an appointment with my College of Education advisor today, and I should send out missionary applications before people forget me. So I'm strapped for time.

Thanks for taking the time to read my prayer requests.

God Bless You!


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Writing for Writing's Sake [29 Jan 2004|09:41am]
It is quite a comfort sometimes to write without a deadline, to create with an invisible audience without expectations, to doodle as if a child. Yes, I miss seekinghisface, but it is time to take a break! It's time to separate myself and ask God to start scheduling my day for me. So I want people to pray for me that I start seeking God more myself.

It's so different to write endlessly giving instruction and only pick up a tiny morsel of the wisdom God gives for application. But I will keep in contact with SHF for sure and all my great friends there.

The leadership staff means so much. Keely and Kate, I just can't forget all that help you gave in the early leadership meetings when we began organizing ourselves. Nathan, I love praying with you over the phone man! Mama, you got such wisdom. Sheri and Steve, you guys do so much work introducing everyone. Anjuli, your humble prayers availeth much. Alex and Kevin, your steady service gives our ministry an element of consistency with frequent devotion no matter how busy you are. Alex, you are so awesome to talk to on the phone; you are just a real friend.

And yeah, I love you all so I'm going to try to get you guys to put yourselves on my friends' lists.
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Watch OUT! [28 Jan 2004|11:49am]
There's a special e-mail attachment Worm virus that I have that sends you fake error messages from everyone you know. It's very frustrating. So if you recieve an attachment from someone that's between 31K and 35K, don't open it!

6 comments|post comment

He Brought Me to His Banqueting Table-- The Story of 3:16 (Easy Print and Cut Format [26 Jan 2004|09:38am]
Here's a study I'd like to do sometime in the near future with Seeking His Face and all my journal readers:

Read more...Collapse )
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Yet Another Parable---- Next in the Parables of Today Series [20 Jan 2004|01:02am]
Short and Sweet: The House Always Wins

I jump out of bed, scrambling to write though I would think I need the sleep…
I see laid before me the mighty deck of cards and the opponent snarling at me. He’s playing for keeps. Ace, right in my face, with a smile contention rustles through my chest from being to being. Here I am, wondering if the game is up. As each card is placed down, I wonder shall, shall I call for a toss-up? Shall I surrender willingly and plead for less damages submissively in this gamble of a lifetime with my crafty opponent? I’m desperate. I almost trust him. Daringly he winks at me as fear grips my heart.

Then, I realize, the truth so evident. This house always wins and my Father is the owner. He will see to it that I win in the end—no matter how many aces the opponent holds. I must fight and trust in providence; that is the key. No matter the embarrassment, no matter the ridicule of a seemingly preposterous situation, I will yet stick it out and play with glee.
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The Next Parable [19 Jan 2004|12:25am]

The Next Parable in the Parables of Today Series:

By Daniel Arnold
"Come to my table and take a hold of me and drink of my juice.  I will nourish you and give you the strength to place those logs in the fire."  And he did.

(written four months after I was saved) More
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The Only One Writing of My that I Would Ever Want You to Read [14 Jan 2004|10:35am]

Well, that might be a bit of an exaggeration, but if you weren't read anything else I'd have you read this:  

A Testimony of Parables --- ("Communion")

I'm blessed that the Lord has combined  parables I have from before I was really saved with this testimony and a parable from after I was saved ("Showing Your True Team Colors")  Enjoy!

Here's a sneak preview:

By Daniel Arnold
This is the story of how God made His presence known to the head of a writing ministry who thought he knew a thing or two about God, but God taught him more than he bargained for through his allegory writing and through HIS WRITTEN WORD. More

By Daniel Arnold
WARNING: Although it should not impede anyone from reading the text, the intensity of this parable should be mentioned before it is read. More

By Daniel Arnold
I have never felt compelled to reflect on a piece of writing before.  This is the first time my own piece of writing has grabbed a hold of me and taken me to places I did not wish to go.  But I see a purpose in how it impacted me and in turn will have an impact on readers. More

By Daniel Keith Arnold
We dream of rescuing people from burning buildings, being invincible, making the papers, getting the girl, remaining financially secure-- all the while passing it off as out of the goodness of our own hearts. More

By Daniel Arnold
An ancient story legend found inside a rusty cash box laid on the counter of the corner liquor joint. Behind the counter was a man standing next to the cashier who claimed he was there to share invaluable treasure for free. Barely able to speak, he uttered the words of a simpleton and promptly opened the box to reveal a wadded up piece of musty paper. More

By Daniel Arnold

Emotions break through
as rushing rapids upon the tender heart

Click ignition
Open the flood gates...


By Daniel Arnold
I was unsatisfied. I was stressed. I looked at sin-- gave it a careful analysis. Then willfully, I plunged in-- to fulfill carnal delights. More

By Daniel Arnold
Oh Lord, in a world of mixed priorities we often get lost in the jumble. I see Your light in the distance-- glowing at me-- smiling with a radiance unmatched. I can't take my eyes off the beam stretched out for me-- not always sure how far away it is, but recalling your promise that I will reach it in time if I seek You out. More

By Daniel Arnold
Follow the planted tale of a symbolic salvation story-- paralleled with the inspiration received from a Christian Writer's Convention--
looking to God in the end as the one to be praised. More

Daily Living

By Daniel Arnold
Swaying to and fro, the speedboat mightily penetrates the resisting waters. I'm glad to be in the Lord's speedboat despite the chill and sensual appeal of the blue waters that would carry me out to sea to sink and drown at the bottom. Don't float idlely though coolness temporarily disspelled, but boredom sets in and urge comes to return to miry blue water-- the very place you were before God placed you in the speedboat. More

By Daniel Arnold
But I was to find that there were others in the land of Spartan Country that proved themselves to possess genuine Spartan pride.  I lived with athletes who dedicated their lives to the game—fighting through the pain—as ambassadors of their higher calling—utilizing their given talent.  These creatures of another kind altered their diets, obeyed their coaches to the point of resenting their own bodies, and even lodged a rival player at home. More

By Daniel Keith Arnold
Let me tell you the story of a pair of feet. Are you grossed out? Well you should be; this isn't a pleasant story. We humans always get our cuts, bruises, and/or ingrown toenails from time to time. It's inevitable. We are destined to injure our vulnerable bodies. But how do we respond? What preventive measures do we take to keep the problem from getting worse? When thinking of your feet, washing them regularly and wearing clean socks is always a good start. More

By Daniel Arnold
I sat down at a metal bench of reflection-- not knowing how long I should lurk there. Filled with inferior demolished thought, I sought the center  fountain to grant me the desires of my youth. Liberate me from the tide of troubles, worries, responsibilities-- long enough to grant me a fresh breath of new life! But I flung my penny in the empty cistern to find no water flowing. Despite worlds around me to absorb something from the nothingness within me. A demand for love without a source. In place of the flowing fountain, a mound of straw. More

By Daniel Arnold
I used to like to do hold your breathe under water contests.  I would do it all the time.  I'd go under water with my stop watch holding on to the metal stair to hold myself down-- goggles intact.  And I'd encourage little kids to do it with me-- as if it was healthy.  Imagine that! More

God Bless,


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The Constitution Thus Far... Give Suggestions [12 Jan 2004|02:36pm]
Kate said she'll help organize it into something neat and orderly with an index. When we complete you, you guys can edit it from there.

Seeking His Face Policies and Procedures

Mission Statement:

Matthew 22:37-40
Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."

Matthew 6:33-34
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

We have created this community primarily for those who wish to seek God with all their heart, mind, and soul together in one accord. The exact aim of this community varies with the vast array of unique children of God that will be brought here. Prayer requests shared. Godly insight passed. A poem of exhortation lifted up-- devoid of pride and selfishness.

We come here to jointly commit to giving God our all and decide to strive to do so together by whatever means He calls us to.

Thinking outside the box of the temporal led by the direction of He who knows the eternal.

Simple Bulletin Board Guidelines:

We welcome all people to come to visit our ministry however if you post pictures that directly mock what Jesus stands for or grossly attack the body maliciously, we will be forced to ban you.

(How long before a person is banned or temporarily suspended is up to the discretion of the ministry)

Scripture About Positions and Leadership Unity:

1 Corinthians 12 & 13

Position of Head Leader:

It is the leadership's joint role to make sure that this ministry isn't corrupted by an imbalance of power leading to selfish motives on the part of any individual, but rather God's will about in this ministry.

Thus the primary role of the head of leadership is to see that not his or her agenda be pushed, but that the system of ministry be continued in an organized fashion that leaves decisions in God's hands long after he/she passes on the baton. (Currently all the leadership members listed can vote on each disputable decision.)

Beyond these crucial requirements, a head leader must be willing to invest time in encouraging members of Leader Circle and assigning taks to these leaders (dialogue about them first) that they can joyfully handle. To help meet each other's needs, the head will also need to hold prayer intercessions and private leadership chat meetings from time to time to meet the needs of the leadership, Body, and discuss out proposals that will need voting. (In the event that it is necessary, they will also need to ban flamers and hold a vote when the leadership members want to remove someone from leadership. (The second has never happened.))

As much as possible, Scripture should be used to back up encouragement and all ideas are to be valued. In addition, an important function of this position is to make sure that, assertively if necessary, the statements made by leadership oneself represent Christ as He is and taking the attitude of the 2 Greatest Commandments God sketched out in the Scriptures.

Whoever enters into this role, enter in joyfully knowing that you are serving the Living God and are being entrusted with His flock as a part of His Body in humility. Expect to face trials, persecution, joy, and sometimes just purpose-- as you follow His way no matter what.
Co-Moderator and Assistant Leader:

The assistant leader serves directly under the leader. They are much like the leaders personal secretary and take care of any extra tasks that the leader either assigns them, or cannot get to personally.

In order to keep the leader from being overwhelmed, minor questions and concerns can be detured to the assistant in order to keep the leader from being taxed from comments and concerns of the members. They are also the sounding board for the leader and advisor in any situation that the leader will use them for.

Prayer Leader and Orchestrator:

Record all prayer requests of ministry. Make sure you individually lift up all ministry prayer concerns and/or assign other member volunteer with particular prayer needs to raise up. Regularly intercede for the ministry and encourage the ministry to do the same with Scripture and whatever the Lord tells you.

Welcome Wagon:

In that position, you make it your business to get to briefly each member of the ministry-- just touch basis with them-- see how they are doing. It helps to look at the Seeking His Face Friends' page and comment.

In addition, with such a big group, it would be good to welcome in each new member both on a one-to-one basis and with a welcome post on the ministry.

Of course you couldn't handle this on your own and your would need to recruit people to help you. These recruits would be called lieutenants and you would be the Captain as the Welcome Wagon. Lieutenants may be selected by the Welcome Wagon, but they must be approved by the Seeking His Face Leader Circle in place.

Devotional Chairman:

We seek a Devotional Chairman to not take on the brunt work of coming up with a daily devo for every single blessed day. AHHHH!! (Unless they are very gifted.) Instead, we seek someone who is in key with the desires of the Spirit for this ministry and can sense what type of teaching it needs. Although they will lead the devotions for some days, they are encouraged to find others and guide them in preparing devotionals for different days.

It could be centered around weekly themes, a walk through the Bible over a year or two (that would be my personal desire), be creative, involve others, and be ready to meet once a week with the core leadership.

Like the other positions, the Devotional Leader will enjoy voting privileges, the ability to be involved in sharing and discoursing about ministry ideas, and have access to the restricted leader circle community.

Other Assistants for Every Area:

Chat overseers and the like. We love you. You are all important. You make the Body of Leadership work to accomplish God’s purposes.

1 Corinthians 12 & 13


In the spirit of this, after this election, I will establish a painful policy that needs to be in place. This ministry has been touched by God and belongs to Him. Therefore, if any leader of this ministry turns away spiritually from the core fundamentals of what this ministry stands for, they will have to be dismissed from leadership for either a suspension or as a last resort expulsion.

If you have concerns with a person, please first go to that person. If that person won't listen, take one or two leaders along (not me). If he/she refuses to listen, we will bring the matter before the leadership circle and reach a decision.

If the matter involves a question you have with my actions, please bring the matter before me. If you believe I'm still in the wrong, bring one or two leaders along to talk to me in a private chat. If I will not listen, tell me the matter must be brought before the entire leader circle. If you vote for my suspension or dismall, I will take it.

Matthew 18-- A Biblical Look at this Policy

Matthew 18

A Brother Who Sins Against You

15"If your brother sins against you,[1] go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.'[2] 17If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
18"I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth will be[3] bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be[4] loosed in heaven.
19"Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. 20For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."


1. All debatable decisions must be voted in by the leadership Body as a whole.

2. All simple decisions must be made by the head of leadership who will disperse the projects from there.
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Pray for Tonight [09 Jan 2004|09:54am]
Tonight is Election Night and we need many intercessors to be praying for this important time. We have a great selection of three candidates and we desire that God's will come to pass. We ask for your prayers for more than just this election, but also for the meeting itself. This will be the first meeting of most all the leaders. Some are making to sacrifices to come and they are all devoted to seeking Unity in the Body of Christ that starts with the leaders to best serve God and you.

Acts 2

The Fellowship of the Believers

42They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. 43Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. 44All the believers were together and had everything in common. 45Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. 46Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, 47praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

Pray for God's intervention into meeting tonight.
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Michiganders [07 Jan 2004|04:08pm]
If there's anyone from Michigan out there please put down your, IM name, e-mail address, school, age, major, something weird about yourself or whatever.

Hey there! If you don't know me by now, I am Dan, founder of the Ministry Seeking His Face. My oddity is the my specialty is toy history research. Take a gander. http://www.geocities.com/ToyLegacies . Ignore the grammatical errors. I made the mistakes many moons ago.

Age: 24
Super Duper Senior at the MSU College of Education.... Elementary Education Major. Minors in History and English.

E-mail: darnold@toylegacies.org
IM: DantheRM

God Bless!
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URBANA VIDEOS! [06 Jan 2004|02:50am]
Yes, it is true I found out that Urbana video/audio is available for free on the Web. Anyone heard me talk about the ultimate convention with 19,000 members-- 10,000 of which made commitments to missions? Wow... You have to be touched by these videos.



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[05 Jan 2004|12:46am]
</td><td valign="top">You are a geek liaison, which means you go both ways. You can hang out with normal people or you can hang out with geeks which means you often have geeks as friends and/or have a job where you have to mediate between geeks and normal people. This is an important role and one of which you should be proud. In fact, you can make a good deal of money as a translator.
Normal: Tell our geek we need him to work this weekend.

You [to Geek]: We need more than that, Scotty. You'll have to stay until you can squeeze more outta them engines!

Geek [to You]: I'm givin' her all she's got, Captain, but we need more dilithium crystals!

You [to Normal]: He wants to know if he gets overtime.

You are 28% geek

Take the Polygeek Quiz at Thudfactor.com

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Send-Off Exhortation [02 Jan 2004|03:11pm]
God gave me the ultimate send-off message to minister to my own life personally. Consider taking out my name and filling it in with your own name.

To you Dan I will talk at my own pace. It is purposeful and perfect. Trust in me with everything! Whatever you think you understand you don't. The ultimate understanding is in realizing your ignorance, your complete foolishness without my guiding light. So climb along the path. And follow my true rocky terrain Divine. I have you in my harness. I will not let you fall. Daniel, it is time to let go. For I even have control over gravity you know. No weapon formed against you shall prosper. Your arms are fit for the task. Climb with me!

My Reply I Learned at Urbana: Yes, Your Majesty!
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Fun Quizilla! [26 Dec 2003|03:14pm]
My inner child is ten years old today

My inner child is ten years old!

The adult world is pretty irrelevant to me. Whether
I'm off on my bicycle (or pony) exploring, lost
in a good book, or giggling with my best
friend, I live in a world apart, one full of
adventure and wonder and other stuff adults
don't understand.

How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla

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Canned [24 Dec 2003|04:45pm]
I an open-book closed to the world. Yes, it's like I suddenly stop writing so openly-- not as before-- terror of eyes watching. The others can see. Yes, indeed they sure can.


So puzzled am I. Frustrated by inner thoughts contained, who might be looking and realizing,

DOH, there's a God up above that I'm not bringing everything to like I should! Lord, You know I want the intimacy back. You know I want to walk in obedience. You know the desires of my heart and the visions You have placed upon me. And I feel unworthy, the Wretched of the Earth.

Lord, Jesus, You know how I feel. It seems as if I'm lazier than the pagannest of the pagans-- lowlier than the worms of the dirt and I've been dealt the gift of written gab, but too often my actions deal an empty set.

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I an open-book closed to the world. Yes, it's like I suddenly stop writing so openly-- not as before-- terror of eyes watching. The others can see. Yes, indeed they sure can.

<img src="http://www.leisureideas.com/peering.gif" alt="peering">

So puzzled am I. Frustrated by inner thoughts contained, who might be looking and realizing,

DOH, there's a God up above that I'm not bringing everything to like I should! Lord, You know I want the intimacy back. You know I want to walk in obedience. You know the desires of my heart and the visions You have placed upon me. And I feel unworthy, the Wretched of the Earth.

Lord, Jesus, You know how I feel. It seems as if I'm lazier than the pagannest of the pagans-- lowlier than the worms of the dirt and I've been dealt the gift of written gab, but too often my actions deal an empty set.

<img src="<img src="http://users.transfur.com/Wolf-Max/other/Torn.jpg" alt="torn">
I'm torn in two, knowing what I should, knowing how I would explain to another how, and then feeling the inability to act upon it-- but one must simply ask of the Spirit in faith. Then, why don't I take the necessary step. Some strange pride in the way or the daily grind pressure cooker of rising up to the challenge seemingly falling back down again.

Feeling as though the Lord has plans laid out for me but that with my current see-saw attitude that feels obstinate, I don't know how to change. How do I escape this mold of the one who acts when compelled? Force me in High School to complete a deadline piece-meal and I'll give you the work. Put it in my hands and it's incomplete, incomplete, stretching for a world of escape.

Frankly, Jesus's birthday is the most glorious day and I can't believe I'm acting this way.
Falling like a pseudo soldier without a fight.
All training only to skip the battle....

Sometimes I just want to say come kill me Jesus,
Challenge me to lay it all down in a spiritual warfare today,
cause I'm afraid of failure tomorrow.

It's as though I use the Bible as ammo against myself.
Cause even when I acknowledge my fear I realize it's a sin to be afraid.

Perfect love casts out all fear.
Then tell me Daniel, why am I hear?

I can run, but from the Lord I cannot hide.
He summoned me to His presence in the morn,
and from my stubbornness now do I mourn,

But my desire was not completely that of stubbornness,
No torn in two not knowing where to run,

I can't serve two mastas God Almighty and pleasure.

Lord, I'm ashamed with myself but never ashamed with You. I want to talk with You right here and right now. I want to be in Your presence and I call You to me. Come to me Father God as I know You will because I trust in You. Strip me of this sinful self. I fall down upon the ground and repent and ask You to take this child of Yours over and bring him to Your presence.

I need You more than water, yet I run to the cistern of pain and drink away my own juices of life.

But I trust in Your promises. You will make me a great nation. Pure and strong. Your seed is within me. I cannot go on sinning. In Your Name Jesus, Amen.

For anyone reading this I don't know what the phrase "make me a great nation" really means in my life, but I keep hearing it from God.

God Bless You all and have a wonderful Christmas!
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